It’s no big revelation that now in history we have a huge disconnect. We all crave that connection, but we’re afraid and not really sure how we go about orchestrating it.
So we look down at our phones and we stare. We stare into an abyss of connection, yet never actually connecting to what our eyes witness. Life is going on everywhere as we observe it on our phones, we laugh, our faces contort with pain as we see the beauty and pain in life played out before us.
Yet our full ability to connect never follows through.
Social media, the news, text messaging, we have so much interaction, experience so much sensory overload and yet little to no connection. Take someone out for a glass of wine, let them have two and after they’ve let their hair down ask them “do you feel lonely?” Most will confess they do.
How is that? How is that we have so much capability to connect yet we still feel the sting of loneliness?
Things like vulnerability, taking risks and letting people see us are those special places we withhold. In our withhold we use phrases like “I’m too busy”, “If I could just find someone on my level” to justify our lack of connection.
I’ve been there, even as a Dating/Relationship Expert, there were periods in my life that I avoided connection and intimacy like the plague. I got so good at the denial of it all that I actually started to believe the lies that poured out of my mouth.
I was afraid of intimacy.
You may be reading this and thinking, “I’m not afraid of intimacy, it’s not that, it’s just …………………………”
It’s just what? I think if someone asked me in that time of denial I would’ve answered with the same tenacity you may be answering with, “NO of course I’m not afraid of intimacy.”
Let me ask you this? When is the last time you’ve taken a risk and allowed someone to see your messiness? If you did, did you stick around, or did you gracefully bow out and not see that person as often? I remember sharing this concept with a client of mine and he said, “Oh I’m good with intimacy and connecting with people, I have a close girlfriend that I’m able to talk with.”
I validated him and said “Sure that’s a great start. But the challenge is, she can’t destroy your life can she? Can she cause substantial damage to your already broken heart?”
He admitted that she could not.
You see when we enter a relationship with someone, we know deep down inside that this person can either bring tremendous joy to our lives, or we take the chance of having them wreak havoc on our hearts. While my client had gone past most boundaries of comfort by allowing a close friend to share a level of intimacy with him… the ultimate test of intimacy was a space he dared not enter. We’ve all been there, but is there an escape of the real loneliness that many live in? Is there a path to real intimacy?
I believe there is.
It’s no secret that when a person experiences intimacy and lives in that state, that their lives from that moment forward is the fullest they can ever experience.
Joy, peace, success, freedom all begin to flow freely from their heart, their lives become deeply enriched.
They abandon filling their lives with more stuff and “busyness” that once dulled their hearts. They forsake living life in grey hues and for the first time see life through vibrant color.
All of the things they’ve worked so hard to achieve, now actually have real purpose, real meaning.
They taste and see that life is truly bountiful for them. It’s the dessert table that runneth over in their lives.
Rather than chase things that don’t satisfy, the Intimacy Seeker decides that he will no longer settle. A commitment rises within him and like a lion he sets on a journey that will forever change the course of his life.
He will choose to experience life to the fullest. He knows intimacy is his gateway to bliss and fulfillment. Being the man who must have it all, he takes the steps that put him on the path that will thrust him into the life he secretly knew was awaiting him.
The past will fade and become a distant memory. The taste of the future and its new possibilities saturate his palate.
Intimacy will not be the thing he runs from, for he shall run towards her, knowing that in her holds his ultimate freedom.
Where are you?
Are you the Lion, the Intimacy Seeker?
Will you run down the path of color and freedom?
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All rights reserved by Arica Angelo 2018 Agape Connections LLC.