I have lots of beautiful single friends. Now not one of them is perfect, myself included, but all very lovable, beautiful inside and out, yet single. Just last night as I was out with some of my girlfriends and while in the ladies room there were ladies who were a bit older than us and still single. They were shocked that our group had such beautiful women, yet single. As if age alone “cursed” women as single.
Before I would’ve guessed that lots of people were still single because they were still searching, discovering what they wanted or dealing with their issues. But if you look at most married folks, or people in relationships, they all have issues they’re working through. Hell they’re people, so naturally there are those areas they want to improve and mend. As I see more and more beautiful women who are all still single, it made me re-think my former thoughts and take the question a bit further.
That question is What’s Keeping Us Apart? How is that we can have so many beautiful single women running around and so many gracious gentlemen that still exist, but still single? Now I’m not talking about those who are enjoying being single and are content in that. No, I’m referring to those who are out mingling, ready to really meet someone. Perhaps even The One?
My first question provoked another, “Has our society taught us to fear one another rather than embrace and connect with each other?” Think with me, our television shows expose scandals in relationships, our radio shows host programs that catch people cheating and air it for us on our morning drive to work. So we go out with our girls and the first thing our friends do when we meet the next guy is to scope him out for his flaws. Sure they’ll give him a couple of compliments, but they’re really searching for what is wrong.
Guys go through the same thing, they find an excellent girl, but their boys have their suspicions. I have had this happen to me. I was dating a guy and his cousin kept telling him to watch out for me, only too far later see that I was actually a good woman and a catch at that! ”Well thanks for finally clueing in dumb ass!” Naturally I was insulted and questioned myself as to what vibes I was putting off. (The same guy who judged me is apparently dating a very crazy woman. It seems his suspicions aren’t working for him.)
We get into this mindset of searching for love, but as I wrote yesterday http://www.aricaangelo.com/check-lenses-first/ seeking it through eyes of fear. While out with the girls last night, a gentleman asked me about what I do, he then proceeded to ask for dating pointers and what I thought was holding him back. I shared with him what I specifically saw for him, to which he became very quiet and said “You know you’re right.” Needless to say that what was holding him back was an area of fear he was holding onto for dear life.
While society tells us to “Watch out”, “Look for flaws”, “Keep our guards high”, we ultimately have the choice to walk in love and open ourselves up to connect and embrace one another. It’s our choice. We can either be influenced or be those who influence. It’s up to us, so choose wisely.