Think with me if you will, of all the reality shows we have on now right before our eyes. We have “The Bachelor”, “Millionaire Matchmaker”, “Shot at Love” and the list continues. Each one shows us of a microwave strategy to find love, but with lots of dishes cooking all at once. Is this what our dating lives should look like, should we all be jammed into one house full of vigilant women, with eyes focused on the same prize?
Despite how much we all may get wrapped into these television shows, we all know that this is not reality, even though it’s called “Reality TV”. At least I hope we do! But with all the mixed messages and with the world of Dating constantly changing before our eyes with online dating, etc., how can we be sure as to what it really looks like?
Well let’s keep it simple. Dating was meant to create a setting, where we engage with the opposite sex, with the possibility of entering a monogamous relationship. We take the dating period to discover another individual, see what common interests there are and how deep the attraction runs. Remaining in atmosphere’s that are fun, that encourage communication, while exploring the person we’re with.
Dating is not an environment where we sum the person up in two meetings to see whether or not they’re our life partner, begin encountering sex with, or putting the pressure on them to meet our parents. Dating is supposed to be 3 things. A time of Fun, Discovery and Lighthearted. When we throw added pressures like long term future plans and sex into the equation, it only muddies the water, while adding far too many complications.
The pressure of entering monogamy immediately, puts the individual on a tight rope with no catching mat laid underneath. When sex comes into the picture, it goes from having the liberty of getting to know each other, to intense feelings that generally should develop….after you’ve gotten to know the person. When we date backwards like this, it sets us up to get brokenhearted quickly and left in confusion, confusion that isn’t necessary.
When you date with freedom, it creates an atmosphere for both people to be themselves, without the expectation to perform. The pressure to perform creates a zoo with monkeys acting around and only prolongs the process of actually getting to know that person for the authentic person they truly are. Dating is a process that’s meant to be enjoyed, however when we try to rush that process, it becomes more work and less fun.
Going into dating with a clear picture, gives us something to work with and creates a platform of safety for us to navigate from. Make sure you have a firm grasp for yourself, as to what dating looks like. When you have a map in front of you, it keeps you in the captain seat of your dating life, rather than being a passenger pulled behind the boat! While Dating can often appear to be intimidating or incredibly risky, the truth is, it’s an outlet that allows you to get to know other people, they’re journeys and cues you in more in regards to your own self! Self discovery and the discovery of mankind.. this is What Dating Look Like!