Whenever the topic of love comes up, the advice that usually follows, requires a lot of work. Let’s go for you singles out there, have you ever gone self help hunting to figure what you can do to improve your efforts in the dating world, only to find you have a lot of work ahead of you?
What about the relationship hopefuls, you’re in a relationship, but it’s having more bumps then you’d like, so you search to see what can be done! How on earth can you fix your fairy tale before the wicked witch of disappointment started wreaking her havoc.
Whether single or in a relationship, the majority of advice that you’ll find out there will propose that you have a lot of grueling work ahead of you. Complete these seven steps, 10 hours of counseling and then create a goal plan, along with the steps to get you back on your path.
Okay, the truth is Relationships are work! And some people..not all and definitely not you .. need a lot of work! But along my own path I’ve learned a thing or two and while I’m all about improving myself, lord knows I’ve read enough books and have the hours of counseling to prove that I love this chore, I’ve encountered another alternative.
In the midst of all my trying in the Love department, I’ve learned that a lot of what I needed to do was not try another book to show me where I was Co-Dependent, not focused… or be told how he’s just not that into me. No, what I found was that my emphasis needed to be less on the “Trying” and more on the “Letting”.
While I had mastered the art of Improving and Trying, the Art of all Arts, I had yet to conquer. Letting. Listen to the radio, listen to your girlfriends, watch television and you’ll hear the general message out there is NOT, Letting Love In…but Watch Your Back!!
Beyonce says to tell him “To the Left, To the Left”, because he’s easily “Irreplacable”, Ciara sings how she’d love to sometimes “Act Like a Boy”. The soaps will show you that while you think he was loving you, he’s actually sleeping with your 15 year old babysitter. Your girlfriends will tell you countless disaster stories as to how the bastard lied, cheated and thrashed many other hearts along the way.
All along the message that speaks to your heart is “Hide”, “Protect”, “Build Walls”, and whatever you do, “Watch Your Back”. Fear. Fear. And more Fear. The complete opposite of love. You can’t take the poison of fear and say “Yes, you’ll protect my heart so that one day I can find love!”
Are you kidding? That’s like asking a giant grizzly bear to protect your 2 year old who’s holding an open jar of honey!! There’s no rational logic to that whatsoever.
Listen, I’m not advertising that we should all be throwing our hearts out there to every person who claims they’re worthy. NO. That’s why we have a brain, intuition and friends. However, I am proposing that with all of our Trying and Hiding, we are missing out on the key ingredient and that is actually “Letting” love in.