I remember years back being a part of a community/group that were a very loving, giving community.
There was only one problem.
Something in my gut said they were off.
Something about them wasn't setting right with me and I knew that I needed to make a change.
Where they an occult? Were the sacrificing babies?
However they had something that I saw could be detrimental to my future.
They had this very dangerous mentality.
Now let me back up a bit. In my early 20's, I began to realize that I would want a life that was very big. I knew I wanted to touch the masses with my gift of love.
I had no idea what that would look like though. I thought I wanted to be a minister, or a public speaker.
Then I thought the way to do it, would be to become a very successful actress.
Now I'm a dating/relationship expert, a path much better than any I had anticipated.
However when I was a part of this group, there was something about their mentality that made my stomach turn.
While they all professed to wanting to live a "big life", I saw very little of them actually going after this life they dreamed of.
It was almost as if there was this unspoken thought process that said "one day it will come."
My gut told me differently.
My gut said they would be sitting around, doing the same thing and that their "one day" would never arrive.
Many years later, I found my gut to be right.
While I had lots of zest and a desire for a life that would be incredibly impactful on the world, something inside of me told me there was a lot I had to change.
The quickest way I knew to do this, was to get my hand on every book that resonated with the path I could feel, yet not necessarily clearly see.
I remember the days of my friends who were also single like myself and them enjoying their weekends filled with brunches, laying out by the pool and lots of drinking.
I however did something different.
There was no doubt that if you wanted to find Arica, you could find her at a Barnes & Noble with a cup of coffee sitting next to her and my face buried in a book.
I became obsessed with reading. I devoured books as if they were dark chocolate and it became a huge part of my lifestyle.
Now you may be wondering.... "Where does this dangerous mentality come in?"...
The most dangerous mentality is this, thinking things will just come and you won't need to change.
What we have in our lives are either a byproduct of our thoughts or unfortunate circumstances due to life.
However we have the power and the capability to create change and to bring into our lives the things we want.
I did a survey amongst a group of men and 50% of them said that they "if it's meant to me it will happen" in terms of them finding love.
Cinderella had to escape the cellar to get to the ball. The prince had to come for Snow White in order for the spell to be broken with his kiss.
This "que sera" mentality is fairytale like, yet at least the fairytales knew that action was required.
Listen, don't fall into the trap that love is going to show up on your doorstep while you're lying on the couch eating a bag of Doritos.
Nah. Change will be required, action will be necessary.
Don't fall for the dangerous mentality that things will show up and that if it's meant to be it will happen.
Your desire is far more powerful than that.
Desire is your compass, it will lead and direct you.
To ignore it and allow complacency to poison you with a nonchalant mentality towards love will be to your detriment.
Change isn't your enemy and it's not something thats too far out of reach.
Open yourself up to grow, position yourself for love to have access.
Do something, but whatever you do, don't allow the dangerous mentality of "things will just come" creep in.
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