1. You are lovable.
This is probably the most important revelation we can ever come to. Often we’re told where we can improve and how we can do better, but its rare that we hear how lovable we are and what we bring to the table. You being you, aside from any performance, are lovable just as you are. Period.
2. You don’t have try so hard.
I’m all for improving myself and for others doing the same. Bottom line is, when God created me, He created a masterpiece. Not a screw up. Grant it, I’ve believed lies and have fallen into traps, even self inflicted ones. But when improving myself begins to stress me out, take away from my value, or reinforce the lie that I’m a huge mess..that’s when I stop and seek different methods. I improve, but blood, sweat and tears are for boxing rings, not for the interior of my soul or well being.
3. You’re better than you think.
Yes Hollywood may tell you you need liposuction and GQ may encourage you that a woman desires for you to be more “enhanced”, but at the end of the day.. who you are is powerful. The world is waiting to see the rest of you, so embrace you and come out of hiding. There is nothing shameful about you. You are beautiful, you are strong, you have what it takes. You’re a child of God. So shine…that’ s what you were meant to do.
4. Your dating life is a reflection of who you are, so remember to take self inventory often.
So what that you’re on the dating wagon still. You have life in you, you’re still breathing and you haven’t given up. So make sure you do your dating life, just like you would plan for the most important mission of your life. Because it is, so do it well. If you keep attracting flies, then stop with the self torture and love yourself. Don’t rehash any garbage you may think is inside of you…it’s attracting the flies. Get back to loving yourself and allow others to see the value in you. This makes for a much more fun, fulfilled dating lifestyle. Don’t be a garbage disposal internally, be a honey factory, let the sweet stuff flow.
5. Happiness starts with you, relationships can only add to that.
George, Bob, Susie and Jill will not guarantee your happiness. However the person standing in front of the mirror, has full access to make that happen. Get back to the things that bring joy in your life. Spend time with yourself and allow your memory to stir, while it sings to you the melodies your heart once played. Invest in your smile, your worth every penny, so do what brings you happiness. If you find love along the way… all the better. If you already have love and are still unhappy, then its back to the drawing board for you. The person next to you can help, but ultimately..you hold the key.
6. Having hope brings goodness into your life, so let it in.
Disappointment has kicked my butt more than once…but guess what? I’m still here! My secret weapon: Hope. Despite all of my disappointments, failures and unfortunate circumstances, hope still whispers that I’m not done and there are many victories to be had. Even when I’ve wanted to curse the world, hang my hat and call it quits.. Hope tells me I’m still winning, I still have a chance. In that moment I always have a choice as to who wins the battle. Hope or Disappointment. Hope makes me feel better, so it wins. It’s that simple.
7. Quit making excuses for what you want…embrace your desires!
When I stay in what I don’t want, when I down play my desires, when I listen to the skeptics, I betray myself. If I betray myself, I no longer have anything to give and therefore I am done. This is not an option. What I want is what I want and what I want is what I will get. The more purified my heart becomes, the more my real desires come to light. The more my desires come to the surface, the more I am challenged to say YES! When I say Yes, I give my heart a voice, I tell the world I am to be respected, because I respect myself enough to be heard, to be understood, to be answered. My desires are the breathing ground for which my life stands. I like breathing, so needless to say… I embrace my desires.
8. The past is the past, you’ve learned from it.. now onto your future.
I have a past. We all do. I also have a car that has different sets of mirrors. If I focus on the mirrors that show me whats behind me, I crash..I possibly could die. I look at them occasionally, but ultimately I look forward. So while I have a past, I am much more excited about my future. People who let past hurts linger and stay with them, never get to embrace the good that life has in store. Those who relish in past victories often build very small futures. Reflect, be thankful..but then move on. Single… then look for love. In a relationship…then look for a stronger bond. Married… create the best sex life you could possibly imagine. Point is build, grow, move.
9. Make this year the best year you’ve ever loved yourself!
Self love is becoming a popular theme. But what are you doing about it? I can read till my eyeballs fall out, but until I actually implement the change, then I do myself no good. Look in the mirror and say I love you. Touch your skin and tell yourself its the best skin you’ve ever felt. Blow kisses in the mirror. Be humble enough to tell yourself you’re hot (bet this one bends your mind..good!), affirm yourself, treat yourself out, spend money on yourself…nourish your soul.
10. Take the time to give yourself, the world around you will thank you.
We make time for work, we make time to cater to those around us. We find time to do taxes, pump gas and wash clothes. Grant it, they all need to be done, so how much more imperative is it for you to spend time on you? If you cared as much for yourself as you do to get to work on time, do your taxes to keep Uncle Sam off of your back, or make the others in your life happy… then you would be in much better shape. It’s ridiculous that we have to be reminded to take time out for ourselves…but here we go. Take time for yourself. You’ll be less bitchy, less irritated, less depressed, less confused and more aware of the life around you. You are the star, so let yourself shine. But care for yourself in the meantime. Sometimes I have to tell the world to shut the hell up…because damnit..it’s Arica time, so respect that! You should do the same…. trust me, you’re worth it. This world is a better place with you in it… but that’s just it. WE need you in it. So to bring all of you to the stage, you must take the time to care for you. If not for you, then do it for us. But ultimately… we would prefer that you do it for you.