I’ll never forget the day I sat with my girlfriend over brunch and began to have the moans of my desperation for a relationship. We had just finished our Saturday hike at Runyon Canyon in LA and it was now time to replenish ourselves with lots of carbs and lattes. This particular girlfriend of mine was a bright one, so I knew that if I bitched enough and got it all out, she would be able to help me find answers.
I had been in a season where I was dating and dating a lot. It was fun and very adventurous as I have thing for meeting and getting to know new people. However I wasn’t happy. I wanted more. So as I whined and whined to my friend, she in so many ways took my latte (my comfort) from me and threw a big glass of ice water in my face (meaning here’s your crap Arica, face it!). She said “Arica all these guys you’re dating, are they really guys you’d see yourself in a relationship with?” I put my head down in shame as she was exactly right, they were not guys I wanted to be in relationship with.
This was many years back and in hindsight I look back and see even more to that picture. Though I really thought I was in the space for a relationship, I realized that my actions were actually in exact alignment with what I truly wanted. You’re probably thinking “What do you mean Arica?” Looking back I was pretty bored and frustrated with life. I loved living in LA, I loved the adventure, but I was really feeling unfulfilled inside. I was on the search for more. Often when we feel empty inside we go outside ourselves to find more. I was hoping a relationship would fill that hole.
Eventually I made some drastic changes in my life so that I could not only live a more fulfilled life, but also become a person who was far more whole. I started to learn more about me and developed a far better relationship with myself. I’m still in that process as I want to commit my life to learning how to love myself more and more. What about you? Are you the person who really wants to be in a relationship so much so that you find yourself frustrated over it?
Let me encourage you to evaluate what you’re currently doing? What are your actions saying? Listen I am all for relationships, trust me it’s what inspired me to bring you this website you’re currently on. However I never encourage anyone to enter a relationship for the wrong reason(s). Maybe you are ready for a relationship and if so, then that is great!! I’d love to help be apart of that process, email coaching is a great way we can do that! But if you’re empty on the inside and you think the quickest way to fill that void is through a relationship I’m here to tell you you will be disappointed.
Allow love to come in and accept that love for yourself first. Really evaluate why you want a relationship and when it comes from a pure place of love, in that scenario you can create a relationship that accompanies the fullness you already have.