When entering into relationships, sometimes I’m concerned we go into them for the wrong reasons. Take religious people for example, typically people of one faith do their best to find a partner of the same faith. While there’s nothing wrong with that, the problem lies, when the faith is the only real connection they have. There are no other similarities, they don’t provoke one another to thrive in life, inspire the other’s heart to become more free and alive. No you see their foundation is on their faith, however the connection between the two of them is non existent.
Growing up in a Christian faith, often I heard slogans and scriptures that went along the lines of, “Find another man who loves Jesus and everything will work out for you.” Well loving Jesus and loving my heart well, turned out to be two entirely different scenarios. Through my own experience, I found that just because another man shared the same faith as me, didn’t guarantee me that he would know how to love my heart well. Or let’s say, love me the way my heart yearned and was built for.
How many times do we enter relationships based on things like Religion, Money, Goals, or even Looks? The reality is, we haven’t been given good guidelines to help navigate us through the process of keeping our awareness onto what will get us our real desires. Not the petty one’s we buy into through propaganda, old wise sayings that have been passed on through our families, or what the new fad of self help proposes.
-Status Quo says: “Date a guy who drives a nice car.” I did, however he was on an anxiety prescription for his craziness and regularly would lose it over the simplest of matters.
-Propaganda Advice: “Date a rich man.” I did, however this millionaire’s love for his business and drive to make more, was the priority in the relationship. I’m a diva, which means… I’m the priority!”
-Religion: “Date a nice Christian man.” I did, however his emotional well being was so far from what I wanted, that had I remained in the relationship, I would’ve been his shrink for the rest of my life.
The truth is, it takes much more then a nice car, millions in the bank or a good christian boy to satisfy the heart’s thirst for genuine love. Now while faith is important to me, as I tried to date someone outside of my faith, only to find that it had a real potential to get messy once children came in the picture and how we would go about raising them, it’s not the only ingredient that makes everything work.
Our hearts are designed for one main, huge ingredient. Love. All of our love tanks look different. When embracing a relationship there are things that are definitely key to be aware of, such as financial goals, dreams, vision, religion, attraction. But when it comes to your own personal love tank, you must find someone who feeds your heart well, the way you deeply desired to be loved. Is it affirmation that feeds you? Then look for an encourager. Does touch make that heart tank of yours fill to overflow? Then find a partner who’s so affectionate it doesn’t matter who’s in the room, you’ll still be nurtured! Laughter a must? Then find a partner whose sense of humor lights up every part of your love tank.
Bottom line is, your heart has it’s own voice, so be sure to listen to it. If you only go by the other voices around you, you may find yourself severely disappointed.