When it comes to Dating, Love and Relationships we tend to think of the guys as the villain and the women as the damsels in distress. But this isn’t always the case. Guys get their hearts broken, they get rejected, they get lied to and they get taken advantage of. It’s typically the nice guys, the bad guys have done wonderfully at walling themselves in, not opening their hearts and keeping love out at all costs. Very fulfilling isn’t it? Not at all.
However when broken women rush off to the bad boys, it often leaves the good guys questioning their identity, how they go about life and where they need to change. Point and case is my friend who feels like the “Nice Guy Not Winning”. He keeps finding himself in the “friend category”, doing sweet things for the ladies in his life, yet never moving forward romantically with any of them. Personally my guy friends who are the good guys I have great compassion towards and want to always be there for them. I respect these guys, I admire them.
Bad boys? I went through a time where I really was drawn to bad guys, but then I grew up, got my heart healed and worked on the daddy issues. Ladies who are perpetually drawn to the bad guys are the gals who keep people like me in business. They do the same thing over and over, get the same crappy results and wonder why they are without love (I’ll be writing on this tomorrow). Here’s the thing about bad boys, sure I’ll date them when I’m in the single zone, that is when I’m having fun and not looking for anything serious. In those times I appreciate their sense for adventure and their shut off emotions remind me exactly of what I do not want in my lifelong partner. But never do I consider these guys for anything serious and no way near are they seriously considered relationship material.
The nice guy is what I look for in a relationship. My past boyfriends have been major sweethearts. Yes they still were adventurous like me because I have to have that, but tender hearts for sure. If there were any remnants of past bad boy ways we dealt with them. Point is, ladies bad boys are not who we take home to momma! Just like the slutty girl never gets the proper introduction to momma, the bad guy goes in the same category.
My nice guys out there who aren’t winning, two things. One, don’t change you. Who you are is enough, unfortunately it is a matter of time of finding the right one. Two..quit overdoing it. My nice guys typically are the ones who do too much, are way too available and get taken advantage of. Stop it, quit it, love yourself and know that respect and love go both ways. Here’s the thing guys, most women who want the bad guys are typically broken. So ask yourself what is about broken women you want? Let go of your need to fix them, be there for them and open yourself up to someone that is willing to love on you just as much as you’re willing to love!
In my book, nice guys do win!