One game I enjoyed playing as a youngster was Tug of War. Making sure that I joined the team with the largest muscles, was typically the best strategy, however being a skinny gal, I wasn’t always picked to be on those muscle bound teams. Whatever! Who cares that my arms look like little twigs, I’ve got the fight of a Lion and tiger blood running through my veins! (Thank you Charlie Sheen!)
The best part of Tug of War, was watching the other team lose and seeing bodies flying towards the ground. Boy did that get a massive laugh out of me every time! The part that sucked, was looking at my little torn up hands, raw and red from the gruesome battle. However it was worth it, the competition, the adrenaline rush and the flying bodies!
Doesn’t Love sometimes feel like a game of Tug of War? You’re pulling, grinding your teeth and giving it with everything you’ve got? There’s someone you love deeply, yet there’s conflict, so what do you do? You work harder, scream louder and find some way to make it work.
So you roar, shout, pull and hope to come out with a victory. However, there was something I really enjoyed doing and would often plot in this game of Tug of War. When I saw that there was no hope in winning the game, I would secretly encourage my fellow team members to pull a very strategic move, that would gain me victory in one fashion or another. If I couldn’t win the actual game, then I would win the WAR and ask my team members to join me in Letting Go!!
It was always a perfect victory to see the entire team flying like super hero’s and crashing to the ground! W-I-N-N-I-N-G… duh! (Once again, thank you Charlie Sheen!) I was determined to win one way or another, so getting a massive belly roar of laughter, was well worth the Letting Go!
May I suggest, that this same tactic be a possibility for you to apply to your current “Love of War”? Rather than all of the bickering and striving, perhaps you should just Let Go? What does that mean? If your relationship is at a place where you guys don’t seem to be making head way, I would encourage you to quit trying so hard and create space.
You may be saying, “But I need an answer now!” ”We need to fix this now!” The truth is, You Don’t! You making it happen, is you trying to control your world and while we all think that we have it figured out, we don’t. When we find ourselves losing peace in our relationship, we need to make space and create room to breathe.
In those moments of setting our differences aside and just being, often time, the solutions and the clarity we’re searching for, all of the sudden, seem to appear. We give our hearts, mind and emotions, time to process what’s going on and gain a clearer perspective. From there, we can come back and articulate what it is, that’s really going on inside of us.
So if you’re in a massive “Love of War”, do yourself and your partner a favor and simply Let Go.
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