The other evening I was talking to a friend of mine and we were talking about my journey of writing about dating and relationships and where I’m taking that journey now, into personal coaching for those who are ready to make a move in their love lives! I began to share with him how what I teach is completely different then whats on the market for dating/relationship consulting and how my advice can be viewed as pretty dangerous, not for the faint of heart. Why you may be wondering? Because I challenge the people I work with to operate not from the outside in, but we dive directly into the heart and I will only work based off of that premise.
I began my same journey after questioning myself when I found that I was in a marriage and a life that had become mundane and lifeless to me. Most of my life up to that point had been lived out of pleasing other people, doing what I thought was right in their opinion, all in the false hope that I would receive unconditional love from them. Anytime we try to pursue love in an environment based on conditions, that’s a very clear sign to RUN! However because I had a false belief system inside of myself, that said I had to “prove” and “work” for others love, I found my life being surrounded with circumstances that kept me in that frame of mind. In the midst of it all, my heart was suffering drastically feeling more and more trapped in a iron box, desperately wanting to be made free.
Thankfully, through several events and literature I came across, I decided rather than being “quote” comfortable, though it wasn’t comfortable and painful as hell, I could choose not to waste any more of my youth and do something about it. The marriage in my heart was dead for so many years and I was a walking zombie, but because I was charismatic, those around me didn’t have a clue that I was screaming for more inside. Through lots of very hard and difficult decisions, I made the choice to leave my marriage, pack up my belongings and move to an area where I hardly knew anyone. I had lived in Texas all of my life, it was where my family lived, it was all I knew, it was my comfort.
But for me, my so called “comfort” was costing me my heart and I came to a place where I was no longer willing to pay that price. Many times I had thought of ending my life as my only way of escape. However, I knew that my heart and who I was, was far more valuable to just throw away and that though the road which was ahead of me would be one of the hardest things I had ever done, it would be worth it. (On a side note, I do not advocate everyone going out and getting a divorce in the midst of difficult situations or identity crisis. I believe in the power of marriage and had I made wiser decisions in my youth, I would’ve waited until my identity was firmly established before committing the rest of my life to someone. With that said, despite my divorce, I am still a believer in the fact that marriage is powerful and one of the most beautiful things that we have on this planet.)
Packed bags and question marks everywhere, I made the journey into an unknown land, but with my heart freed from the chains and it was given the invitation “Please come with me, please come alive.” Life from then on has never been the same. When I arrived at my destination, it was incredibly scary, but I had committed to myself that no longer would I be okay with comfortable, I would daily and moment by moment, take the jump and fly with life. And so I did. To this day, I say that that year was one of the best years of my life. I had one incredible adventure after the next and more experiences in that year, then I had had in the past 3 previous years of my life. I made life long friends and became one of the social butterflies of that area!
Today, I stand in that same commitment. I daily choose to Live on the Edge. My heart is the center of my journey, it has a voice, I listen to it and when I find it shut down, I seek for ways to have it reopened and brought to its fullest. What I ask of those who I coach to walk through, is something that I not only encourage, but I do. I’ve been so blessed to surround myself with people who help me in my journey, I’m no fool and I know that this journey of the heart was never intended to walk alone. How about you? Have you ever considered Living on the Edge with your life? Does this frame of thinking unnerve you, perhaps even scare you? Well it should. Because living life from the heart is not a journey for cowards or those who choose to live complacently. It’s for the burning ones who deeply desire more. Who refuse to relent for a life that’s been built by the media, by society and by those who think they know best for you. Living on the Edge is like a jumping off a cliff, its freeing, frightening as ever and trusting that the parachute attached, damn well better work! But its worth it. What will you do?