Following my heart out to Los Angeles, I knew the path I had wanted.
I wanted the simple things of life. Fame, fortune and to see my face blasted over billboards everywhere.
You know, simplicity.
But as we know, the wide eyed dreamy girl had to come to terms with reality.
I had bills to pay and all of those dreams had to take the backseat.
Sure I got to do things that people would only dream about while dipping my toes into the pond of my dreams.
I made my own music video, got to be in a music video and met Tom Cruise at the SAG Awards.
Things I still like to think back on and think, "Wow I never saw any of that coming?!"
But not being able to immerse myself into my dreams and showing up to a 9-5, Mon-Fri, all eventually took it's toll.
Mix that with a dating life that was all over the place, a lot of fun, but still over all the place and I found myself very worn out.
I eventually found myself back in Texas for a weekend to see a couple that were like parents to me and was able to share my journey of life after my divorce.
They saw the disappointment in my eyes, along with the fire in my heart searching for so much more.
I found myself turning back to my roots and found my way into a church service.
It was comforting to be back to my roots, but it was also deepening disappointment. Same service, same music, same emptiness.
But little did I know things were going to change for me.
That's when he saw me.
Yes you read that right, he saw me...
I remember getting followed around by a guy (not the guy who "saw me"...just so we're clear) that I randomly made acquaintance with on MySpace and doing my best to not get followed all evening. That's pretty much all I remember about the night, that and my disappointment.
But I'm not a quitter, I wanted some sort of remedy to ease the pain of my disappointment, so I found myself a couple of nights later wandering into another church service.
The night started off on the wrong foot, as the guy I was trying to dodge from the previous service decided to have a heart to heart with me and shared with me how he felt I was his wife.
Yah buddy and I'm about to have Angelina Jolie's career. Sod off ya smuck.
Even though I was hot from feeling pissed off with this random dude, my desire to be absolved of my disappointment was greater.
I went into the service not expecting much, however there was a magic in the air that was electric and couldn't be ignored.
Perhaps God was going to show up and meet me face to face and tell me He was about to make all my dreams come true..
Or maybe not.
Little did I know that my life was about to change. (I'm thankful that my heart decided to be strong enough to persevere.)
There was a precious woman who met with me as I shared my scars and tears about my disappointments and I felt so grateful that a stranger would be gracious to take the time to love me.
That in itself made my hear feel content.
But that wasn't it.
That's when I heard a beautiful voice calling for me...
You know, the one who saw me.
To be continued...
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