It was the first time we were to meet in person, I knew he was going to be nervous and I wasn't entirely sure what to expect.
The minute Joe set on my couch one of the first things he said to me was "I don't believe in love... I think it's f$#@$ bull@#$#."
I took in a big gulp of air to my belly as I knew this wasn't going to be easy. My first time sitting with my client and he boldly tells me he doesn't believe in the one thing I have learned to base my life on.
To hear Joe say these words hurt me deeply. Here was a
good looking man, in great shape, fashion well he made that very clear he wouldn't need my services there, all in all this guy had everything going for him. But "no love", I thought to myself "You don't believe in love?" In fact you think "it's bull$#$?" My heart really hurt as I began asking "What on earth could have possibly happen to this man for him to be separated so far from love?"
We had a full month of working together and we committed to go on the roller coaster of our lives as he remained the skeptic and I was adamant to not only fight for his heart, but to win. Over time we began making progress, that is until things hit the fan. Yes flying feces went everywhere.
Joe was furious with me, he felt like I had let him down and all that we had accomplished was just fluff. In his mind, point validated, "love is indeed bull#$#". I began to question myself "Did I fail my client?" "Was my fight for his heart not enough?" In the pit of my stomach I knew not to throw in the towel. This mysterious faith I had inside of me wouldn't allow me to give up, even when my client said "It's not worth it and I'm done."
In that moment as we talked on the phone, my client began to rant and rave about how everything I said about him, the beauty that I saw, the courage that I saw, was all a joke. Our time together was a joke.
Immediately my french/latin side wanted to kick in and tell Joe just where I wanted to insert my foot (I'm a coach, not a saint. ~Count of Monte Cristo). Rather then letting my ego have it's way, I chose to partner with my faith, the faith that I had in Joe that he would indeed not only believe in love, but connect with love. As Joe continued to yell on the other side of the phone, I chose to pray.
Faith had it's opportunity to create a miracle out of what seemed hopeless. I did what any other dating/relationship coach would do, I yelled at the top of my lungs and fought like it was the bloody battle witnessed in Braveheart. I could see that this war was not about a disagreement my client had with me. This was a vicious battle for his heart and I was only walking out one way.... a winner. My client would connect with love and I would slay any dragon that came in his path.
Our last meeting was quite beautiful, despite my unconventional method of coaching in attempt to connect Joe back to love, the war had indeed been won. For the first time Joe not only believed in love, but he experienced it first hand. Someone was willing to believe in him enough to go the distance to fight a bloody battle on his behalf and redeem his heart to love.
I will never forget my client Joe. That night after our last session ended, he called and left me a voicemail saying that no one had ever taken that much interest in his life and to him it was beautiful, something he would never forget. In our battle to connect Joe with love, I learned a valuable lesson myself. Love requires faith, that even when you can't see it, it will require courage to have faith, to silently say that prayer inside and then to fight like bloody hell.
You see love is not a weak thing. No not at all , but it requires tremendous courage. It requires faith.
My friend you are loved.
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