Responses like "I'm just looking for someone to chill with."
What the hell does that even mean?
"I'm waiting for the right one to come."
Yah but you're going on 40, how much longer will you wait?
"Umm I'm just enjoying my life right now."
Then why are you always on the dating apps & sites?
What this all says is, "I'm not really sure what I want." "I'm moving forward, but with nowhere to go."
Lack of direction in your dating life can keep you single for a really long time. If not indefinitely.
Not a bet I'm sure you're willing to take.
So why not end all that non-sense and gain some clarity in what you want out of dating?
Ask yourself these questions.
Do I want to stay single?
If you really want to stay single, quit wasting your time and other peoples time on dating apps.
Am I ready to meet someone right now?
If you answered yes, get clear in what kind of person you want to meet. Don't spend time dating people you know are not your cup of tea.
If you answered no, be honest with yourself. Don't get disappointed when you're not making connections with anyone (You don't want to meet someone remember?) Be upfront with the people that you date. This avoids future frustration for both parties.
If I met that person, am I ready for a monogamous relationship?
If you answered yes, next ask yourself what does a monogamous relationship mean to you? Why do you want it? What do you hope it looks like?
If you answered no, once again don't get disappointed if there's no genuine connection with the opposite sex. Being honest with yourself takes a lot of confusion out of your dating. Continue dating, but be upfront with the lady. Remember to remove expectations off yourself for finding the "one". You're not ready for it, so don't add the unnecessary pressure to try to get something you really don't want.
I hope that helps!
If you need more clarity, reach out to me here: I need more help! and I assure you help is on the way!
In the comment section below share the one thing you lack direction in with dating.