Can love be fabricated? In my honest opinion, true love can never be fabricated, but our perception of love and how we go about getting it can most definitely be fabricated. The current controversy that I ofter hear about is whether we actually are connecting and really communicating as human beings. With online dating, text messaging, Facebook and all of our other what-have-you’s with technology, the general question is “Are we really talking with one another at all?” And if we are “How authentic is our communication?’
I’d like to take this even a step further, beyond technology, beyond whether or not we are truly connecting, I’d like to discuss our love and methods of giving and/or receiving that love. The other day I was having a discussion with someone about dating and relationship advice. He shared with me that amongst professionals, those who are very successful and yet very busy, that among these love and intimacy are simply not available in terms of having time.
This where I’m talking about fabricated love. Most of these professionals have resorted to “hired help” if you know what I mean. My naive side innately did not want to believe this, however I also realized that this could be and I’m assured that it is very true. Can you buy intimacy? Gold diggers have been at it for decades, but have they found the true fulfilling intimacy as a result of their search? I think not.
Handbags, jewelry, fancy homes and cars yes. Someone to walk beside them, validate their dreams, someone who truly sees them and knows them, no. You see intimacy is to some degree what we would now call “Old fashioned”. It requires an investment of time, an investment of emotions, the vulnerability of your heart that will be called upon.
No Franklin or Benjamin (money) will ever suffice that. Despite what you are able to buy or pay for, true intimacy is never to be purchased, it cannot be purchased. Grant it when these professionals are out purchasing this fabricated love, I can assure you in their mind they’re by no means looking for love, but for “fast relief”.
But despite how many “fast reliefs” we receive, the core of who we are as human beings is a place that is designed for intimacy, authentic, pure love. Love can never be fabricated. And despite how many quick fixes we need, or go after, the empty place within that we try to fill will never be filled with something that is replicated through falseness.
I love using the analogy of cotton candy and a t-bone steak. (I’m from Texas, so naturally steak would be involved). Intimacy that is based on anything void of true love is like cotton candy. Initially it tastes good, it goes down smoothly, but it doesn’t really fill you up and an hours later you’ll be looking for more to eat. If even an hour. Whereas a steak is very filling. Three hours from the moment you eat it, you’re not even thinking of your next meal because you’re so full. Real intimacy touches those places within us that are designed for true love and there is a satisfaction that comes with it.
So if we’re talking about Facebook Fabricated Love or Paid Help, whatever the case may be, despite how many times we reach for it, or pay for it, we will always be devoid of true intimacy with these coping mechanisms.