Dismantle to take to pieces: to destroy the integrity or functioning of, well at least that’s what good ole’ Webster has to say about the word. Not a very nice word if you ask me, but one that I have found to perfectly describe what often occurs when it’s regarding our gentlemen these days. Let me just forewarn you now, that if you’re deeply convinced that all men are pigs and out to get you, this one probably isn’t going to give you warm fuzzies, however it will shed some light into some hidden truths that will bring you great victory.
Journey with me, if you will, into the world of a young girl by the name of Cinderella, some of you may have heard of her. This sweet, fair precious young lady is made a servant in her own home, ruled by a deceitful stepmother and dictated by stepsisters that you’d like to throw into a game of Mortal Combat and just see what happens to them. (Wahahahahaha…thats my evil laugh that’s going off in my head.) Life doesn’t really look grandiose for her from this angle, however she’s the perpetual optimist and her heart is filled with promise for the future.
Lo and behold, as fate would have it, she meets her Prince Charming, its a glorious event and he rescues her from her current torment and restores her to her rightful place, as a lady to be cared for and adored. The fairytale’s tell us that “They lived happily ever after” and darnit, we believe them. With such a beautiful union, how could they not?
Along with Cinderella, we have another girl on the scene, with a similar circumstance of events, where injustice has been forced upon her life. She’s beautiful, she’s the fairest of them all and the nasty bitchy Queen of the land isn’t too pleased with the talking mirror who has just informed her of this horrendous news. So she does what any woman engulfed with tremendous jealousy would do, she tries to have her killed. A bit over the top, a gal who I’d definitely sign up for some one on one coaching!
However, greater forces are working on behalf of Snow White and the kill never takes place, but that doesn’t stop the green eyed monster of jealousy. The saga continues to the point that our dear Snow White becomes cursed with a spell that comes through an apple and her dwarf like friends are devastated. So they place her body in a glass coffin and find themselves in deep mourning. To their avail, a handsome Prince comes in their midst, is captivated by Snow White and wishes to kiss her. That kiss breaks the spell and she’s brought to the palace to once again, “Live happily ever after” with her dear Prince Charming.
We watch these movies, we read the stories and our hearts yearn “Surely this will happen for me, someday”. But despite how real these stories resonate within us, our society, talk shows and our girlfriends tell us, that what we have bought into, is one big fat lie. These men don’t exist, in fact all men are assholes out for one thing and it’s up to you to protect yourself from these cruel species.
The truth is not that Prince Charming’s don’t exist and that these glorious fairytales are only here to taunt us, to stroke our desire, only to leave us dissatisfied. We just were never told what happened after the palace life began and what “Happily Ever After” looks like. You see, while our imaginations have served us, by wooing us back to our hearts and the whispers that lie within, we failed to see that the palace life is really what you make of it.
What we never got to see, is that once Cinderella and Snow White moved into the palace, that other than being excellent, caring, kissers, their Prince Charmings also had their shortcomings. While his nurturing heart rescued her, he also had character flaws that needed some tending to. You see he was attending anger management courses within the palace, speaking with a counselor regarding his sex addiction and that gambling habit that had kept him down for so many years, was on the verge of officially being kicked to the curb.
This is where most men get deemed as the “Asshole.” All the rescuing, the love, the compassion gets thrown out the window and what once looked like a hero, now appears to be nothing more than a mere headache, adding more grief to our Princess’ life. What we fail to see, is that though our Prince has yet to “arrive”, as if any us will, he is still a work in progress. A work that will need the assistance of a true Princess who will see him for who he truly is and journey with him, even into the dark places.
While Prince Charming, may not be perfect, he is courageous enough to be on his way. However he will need a partner, who will have the eyes that see into the depths of his soul and say “I see you” and “I will walk with you”. That’s the part of the story that we’re not told and so we come up with ideas about our men, we put them in boxes and we lock the doors of our own hearts, so that they may never enter in.
Life has showed me differently. While I’ve seen and experienced the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, I’ve been so fortunate enough to see and have men in my life who have been Prince Charming’s that are very much on their way. Men who love their wives in the face of adversity, that come to rescue their Princesses time and time again, who see the beauty within that they continuously call forth, yet still….these Prince Charming’s have their shortcomings.
Instead of the majority of our society taking the time to pay attention, give recognition to these hidden Prince Charming’s, instead we go after their flaws, we attack, we guard and we’re left disappointed as we see an army of Dismantled Prince Charming’s. Who will give a voice to these great souls, who will have the courage to love the man who has battle wounds, but with a determination within him that will not accept anything less than a true Prince that his Princess rightfully deserves?
Oh that we would have eyes to see through love and may the chains of iron around our hearts be banished forever. Dismantled Prince Charming’s, I call you forth, come out of hiding, its time for you to be restored.