Rejection, it’s that one slap in the face that we all want to and do our best to avoid. Rightly so. So when I say “Hey…don’t get rejected!”, I’m sure you’re thinking “yah Arica I do at all costs, doh!” I hear you, it comes with a sting, a pain and often leaves a dull ache when you’re not sure what to do with it.
In dating and relationships, rejection comes up a lot. Coming from a sales background, the word rejection was one I had to become well accustomed to. If you think a nice face and a JLo butt never hears “NO!”, then think again. We all hear no at one point or for some at many points in our lives and despite how much we learn how to cope with it, hearing it is never a fun ordeal.
Did you know that rejection can also block you from love and
receiving love? What do I mean? Let me explain. Call me creepy, but I love watching people, observing their mannerisms, how they respond to situations, etc. It’s probably what also makes me a great coach. So recently I caught myself doing just that, but it was with someone that I’ve known since I was a child.
I’ve always found this person with dual personalities. One side was incredibly loving and nurturing, the other side was cynical and very harsh. You never know what side you’ll get with this individual so when you see them you’re thinking “How should I prepare myself?” Finally I decided I wasn’t going to let their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde side have its way. This person was getting loved by me no matter what!
I learned something very quickly, as I approached and kept my heart on the love dial with this person, I could see them for them. This person I realized is terrified of rejection. In the moments where they’ve chosen to stay engaged with love, they’re phenomenal. But when rejection has its way, this person is a downright nightmare provoking the most tender to become harsh right back at them.
When it dawned on me that this wasn’t so much a personality issue, but a rejection issue (very common by the way) my compassion button was turned on. It also taught me a grave lesson. When a person is so beaten up and directed by rejection, while they’ll do everything they can to protect themselves from being rejected, they’re also stopping what they most need. Love.
The same wall that they put up and lash out from, the one that they hope will protect them, also blocks them from receiving love. This particular person had missed out on being loved on by me for years. It wasn’t until I decided that despite how much they sneered, or smirked at me, I was persistent that I would remain tender and loving towards them.
Now, let’s talk about you. Let’s talk about your rejection. Do you think when you build walls, or hide behind facades that you’re actually liberated? Are your walls serving you or are they tearing you apart? Are they keeping you seperated from love? …okay last question… Is it worth it? That’s a question only you can answer.