Going through a break up is probably the least fun thing I can think of that we can go through as a human being. It’s painful, tearing at the heart and causes intense emotions that provoke us to question so much of life. In my book “Struttin Your Way Through a Broken Heart” I share with women the importance of time and how there really is no quick remedy or easy fix.
I am a firm believer in the power of time and allowing ourselves the adequate space to help our hearts heal. We often times will receive advice from well meaning friends who will advise us on what we should and shouldn’t be doing. They’ll say things like “you should be moved on by now” or “just make it a clean break and move on.” But the truth of the matter is that timing really does depend on our own hearts. There’s no given formula that says X amount of time = Healing. It just doesn’t work that way.
While in my book “Struttin Your Way Through a Broken Heart” I share about the importance of giving yourself time and strategies to implement along the journey of the break up, one thing that I would love to cover in another book is how the heart responds. This goes back to the whole idea of their being some perfect formula to implement, hoping that our hearts find some resolve in an estimated time frame.
What I have learned in my own journey and through coaching others who have gone through break ups is that everyone’s heart is different and how they process through their break up, will look completely different from the next person. Some people can go through a break up and have a clean break, never looking back. Then there are those who can’t even consider the option of a clean break and will find themselves in communication with their ex for months at a time, some even to the point where they’re still sleeping with them. (Although I really do not encourage this.)
Here’s the thing with moving on with your break up, you have to be comfortable with the fact that your break up will not look like your friends. Be willing to give your heart the opportunity to process through it the best way it seems fit. There is no certain strategy that you can apply that will be the end all fix all. It really is a matter of listening to yourself and following through with what your heart is saying.
Moving on is a journey that will look different for all of us, the important thing is being true to you.