I absolutely love Martin Luther King’s speech “I Have a Dream”, perhaps because this man was such a visionary and courageous enough to see his dreams come to full fruition there’s just so much to adore about him, but particularly this speech. You can feel his heart behind it, so much so that it convinces us to this day to continue to dream. But what about those who have dreamed and they find themselves empty handed with their dreams crushed? Particularly in the love department, you dreamed of a beautiful love between you and a companion, but now you find yourself with a broken heart, a heart that’s walled off and you’ve seemed to have lost the ability to dream again.
I remember finding myself in this scenario, I had met a man who I thought would be the “IT” guy for me. The way we met, the life we seemed to have before us appeared to be so magical. As the relationship progressed, challenges presented themselves and the fairytale slowly began to dissipate. He lived in another country, so we attempted the long distance relationship thing and I eventually ended up moving to his country. The strains of me being in a foreign land, him with pressures of other matters began to take their toll on us. We both worked very hard to keep what little pieces remained of our relationship together, but over time they crumbled and were beyond repair.
The day I knew it was over for good and said to him that we couldn’t move on was a day that deeply hurt my heart and at the time, felt as if my earth had shattered. He had come to the States for the Holidays, so we continued for the remainder of his trip putting on strong faces for my family as we secretly had known that it was the end for us. The day I dropped him off at the airport we found ourselves sobbing and holding one another as we went our separate ways. My clothes mind you were still in his country, thankfully just the winter goods which I wouldn’t need in California at the time.
From that moment and for a very long time afterwards, I thought love would never return to my heart. I felt so hard and closed off, when guys approached me I felt cold towards them, wanting nothing to do with their flirtations. I remember snapping at a guy who was attempting to flirt with me by informing him that since he was a dentist, he should consider whitening his own teeth for a better form of advertisement. Who says that? Apparently a woman who is heartbroken, angry and devoid of any of hope of love returning.
Over time the aches left me. I held on for far too long, but even in the midst of that, I was still able to move on. The anger, surprisingly it went away too as he and I are friends and I consider him one of the precious people who has been apart of my life. Eventually love came back into my heart and I found myself dreaming again. That’s just it, I was able to dream again. While this may seem fairly simple, for me it took tremendous courage to open my heart to be able to do this once again.
So you may be asking, what do I do Arica? I like you did have a dream and now it’s shattered! My answer… you dream again my love. Though it takes tremendous strength, we must take heart that dreaming is a beautiful free gift we’ve all been given and can only set us free when we give it permission to work its magic. Dream again, dream out of the ashes and the disheveled pieces. Realize that dreams are endless, there’s no floating gift card that says you only have permission to dream once. No, you’ve been given the gift to be able to dream again, and again, and again. You may have “had” a dream, but it’s time for you to start dreaming again dear one.