“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” ~James Waldin
Before I explode, I thought I’d start off by sharing a brilliant quote by James Waldin. There’s so much truth to that statement. In relationships, we are presented with an opportunity to put away our childish ways and grow into adults who enjoy life at its maximum potential.
Think about it, when you become an adult, it definitely comes with privileges that you would never receive as a child. You can drive the car of your choosing, come home whenever you’d like, eat what you want and wear what you want to wear. Freedom becomes yours more and more, but it’s granted out of a maturity that “should” come with age. However, most adults forget the process of growing up, become stagnant and set in their ways, often becoming pain in the asses for the rest of us to deal with.
The truth is that life is about always growing, stretching, evolving into the best version of ourselves and if there’s one thing that will get you there in a hurry, it’s a relationship. Relationships squeeze us, push buttons inside of us and require us to look in the mirror and ask “Okay do I really want to remain as I am now?”
With all that said, I’m going to change gears a bit and share about what’s been going on for the past 3 weeks. It seems that something has been thrown into the air and relationships that once were are no more! I’m not kidding you, relationships that have been together for years are breaking up. If it were one or two, I’d say it’s chance, but when it becomes one too many, I start to pay attention.
The one thing I keep hearing, now grant it, this is coming from the women but men don’t fear, I love you guys too!, is that most of these gals are bearing the brunt for the break up. Let me clue you in on something… RELATIONSHIPS REQUIRE TWO!!! TWO PEOPLE WITH TWO ISSUES AND REQUIRING TWO PEOPLE TO HAVE A RESOLVE TO SEE THE RELATIONSHIP FLOURISH AND THRIVE!!!
I’m sure there are guys out there who experience this same thing, as it tends to fall on the more compassionate one, whether male or female. Bottom line is, it is NEVER one persons fault. The only exception is when one partner faces a flaw and says “No Way, not dealing with that” and it forces the other person to make their exit.
Listen, I’ve had my fair share of relationships and in each of those, I have had my issues. I can’t say “All of my relationships I’ve had, have involved screwed up men.” To some degree that was the case.. I kid I kid . I can honestly say “All of my relationships I’ve had, have involved me and my own issues.” I’m a big girl, wearing my big girl panties, so I can face the fact that I haven’t always been the easiest person to be in a relationship with, however I also know that the expression “It takes two to tango!”, is all so true in relationships.
So I want to make myself very clear, if you’re in a relationship, or have been in one, where you were willing to not only work on yourself, but the relationship, YOU ARE SOLELY NOT!!!! THE PROBLEM. Typically it’s the person who refuses to grow up and deal with their character flaws, unhealthy heart issues, who wants someone to blame.
I get it, we did it while playing on the playground as a child. We make an error and blame the person closest to us. But when we grow up, whining and shouting at the person closest to us, no longer excuses our behavior. Grow Up!! Face your fears, don’t be chicken and don’t give up!!
And if you’re the kind of thinking of jumping into another relationship…Here’s a news flash for you… YOU will be in the next relationship. So no matter who the person is, you will still be in the equation, you and all of your baggage that you’ve been toting for the majority of your life!!
For the person who has gone through the break up and your carrying the weightiness of it all, this is what I have to say to you. I won’t sugar coat it for you and tell you you did nothing at all. Chances are you had your own stuff, we all do! However, if you remained committed, willing to work on your relationship along with yourself, YOU ARE NOT THE SOLE PROBLEM. Listen, some people would rather make excuses, rather than making changes, do yourself the favor and stay on the journey of becoming a better you.
Take their baggage off of your shoulders, their issues are no longer your responsibility. If they’re lonely and still trying to linger around, tell them to hire a therapist, hell arrange a Coaching Session with me http://www.aricaangelo.com/coaching/!! They’re guaranteed to receive a new backside free of charge! With love of course.
You are your responsibility. Your pursuit of freedom is your responsibility. You becoming the healthiest version of you, the person that will fully be able to embrace love and its beauty. The love you’ve always deserved!
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