As a dating coach I get to hear all sorts of stories, witness peoples many different behaviors and see more then you can imagine.

Whether if its through coaching, bootcamps or the random messages I get through my Facebook, or emails things can get pretty interesting.

A couple of weekends I worked with another dating coach doing a bootcamp with other single men.  The guys were really great and I developed a real fondness for each of them as we had our own one on one time.

However there was something that really bothered me and I couldn't shake it.  Here were these great guys and I mean great guys that anyone woman would be lucky to have, but some of them shared a common dilemma.

For years, decades men have been trying to figure out just what in the hell us women want.  People have even gone to the extent of writing books, making movies and diving in any and every psychological way they possibly can to solve this mystery.

What if it's not that complicated?  Surely there has to be an explanation to the madness?  Well there is and you don't have to be a rocket science to understand us.

Are you familiar with the stigma around hot women?

If you aren't, let me inform you now.  They're often known as being "bitchy".

You know what I'm talking about, as a man if you see one of these hot women walk across your path what are your immediate assumptions?

High maintenance.  Dates only rich men.  Oh yes....and she's a bitch.

As a woman, we also think we're aware of these types and will often stay away from them at all costs like men.

Do you find yourself putting hot, gorgeous women in this box?  Sure you do!  Here's the thing, 

It's Valentines Day and ladies let's face it, this holiday is designed all around us, keeping everything that we want in mind.  

Love, romance, passion and anticipation, I mean do I even need to say more?

Our men go out of their way to make their ladies happy.  Well that's if you have a smart one.  

Of course we have those stragglers out there and the ones who refuse to conform, but they just need more education and then lots of application. 

 It's like we're saying "Yah buddy, fight the power all you want, ambush the love day, throw a fit, cross your arms, but I can guarantee you I'm more likely to be crossing my legs as well.  Yikes! Who says that?  Most women who aren't feeling valued by the love of their lives. 

But what about

Valentines Day, to be or not to be, recently has been the question on every one's mind.  For guys the pressure of Valentines Day can be annoying, it feels so forced and put on.

As a guy you're probably thinking "Okay wait, this is where I preform as the good boyfriend, this is the day where in the back of her mind she's questioning "Does he really love me? And if he does, this is his time to prove it."  Yah no pressure at all, just the future of your relationship that's all.

Or as the single guy even though the future of your relationship isn't depending on this one day  of a floral, chocolate extravaganza, the pressure is still on.  Chances are if you're even thinking

One time while in Bible college I made the poor mistake of running my car to the point of exhaustion.  The light that screams “Hey hot girl driving me, I’m way hotter than you right now and if you don’t pull over and let me cool down, I’m gonna blow up on you!”  And blow it did as I blew out a head gasket from over heating my car.  Duh, I mean didn’t my car get the fact that I had places to go, people to see and overheating, while blowing out a head gasket wasn’t on my to do list?

Well my poor maintenance and lack of care really cost me, or my dad I should say, naturally he was pissed.  ”Arica, WHEN IT GOES TO THE FAR RIGHT SIDE AND IT’S RED… QUIT DRIIIIIIIIVING”, was the gist of our conversation from what I can remember.  He was right, I didn’t properly care for the car and as a result it quit working for me.  Have you ever considered the same principle for relationships?  If you don’t properly care for them, they could quit working altogether.

Yesterday I was speaking with one of my business mentors and he was sharing with me how his life has shifted into one phenomenal occurrence to another.  I could tell by his charisma, the sincerity in his voice that things indeed had shifted in his life. I asked him what it was that he felt brought on this huge shift and the answer I actually found surprising.  When he shared it with me it all made sense.  A practice I’m a huge believer in and make sure that I implement it often in my own life.  It’s something that I find I need to be reminded of, because the simplicity of it can easily be shrugged off, but it’s imperative to do.

So what is it you may be asking?

Yesterday I went with some girlfriends to church and it was really refreshing.  But if I’m perfectly honest, I wasn’t very thrilled to be there.  My heart was feeling pretty heavy over some things that have been weighing it down and every part of me just wanted to sit down and be sad.  That is until I saw someone else.

This lovely stranger next to me kept having the occasional tear run down her face and as I witnessed her catching each tear, my heart broke open on her behalf.  Despite that I was heavy and felt like I could’ve spent the rest of my day weeping, her tears touched my heart.  I was moved with an intense compassion.

The other day while shopping for protein bars, a random man walked passed me and said the infamous line, “How you doin?”  I didn’t even turn my head to acknowledge him, but let out an “uhhhhhh” with a touch of disgust and kept walking. It was incredibly annoying and had it been worth my time, I wanted to say, “Are you kidding me?  So you think that works?”  Someone should inform this guy that this line didn’t work for Joey on Friends and it sure as hell wasn’t about to work for him.

How often do we hear cheesy pick up lines like this?  It’s such a turn off and it’s incredibly corny.  Ladies, we’re just as guilty of it as guys are.  Even us ladies from time to time can say the most ridiculous