head were spinning. In fact they were spinning so fast, I could picture smoke coming from those wheels!
Let me tell you about my friend. My friend for one is single. Dresses well, carries himself well and comes across as a very charming person.
In fact, if you asked anyone about him most would say "Oh... Bob is great, what a great guy! I really enjoy him!"
The truth. Bob is angry. Bob is cynical. Bob has major trust issues. Bob is lonely.
As I sat there with my friend at lunch, it made sense why Bob was still single. It also made sense why Bob would not be meeting anyone anytime soon.
This is why I say "dating alone" can cause you trouble. When you're alone you can't see your blind spots.
And your friends, well they love you so more than likely they're not going to tell you you're an ass or that you're a cynical jerk.
The problem is not knowing these things will keep you single and alone.
Until you get these things resolved you'll more than likely continue to date women who mirror what you already are.
Whenever I work with my coach for myself, he always highlights things that no one else points out to me. He speaks the truth and I'm always shocked once he reveals it to me.
For example, (let me throw myself out there) I went to him about an area in my life that I could feel a roadblock in and one that I was certain "I" had the solution for.
But to flatter myself, I shared with him what I thought the solution was and for him to then clap for me and pat me on the back and say "Arica YOU'RE SO SMART!!!!"
So I shared it with him. "You see my problem is I just love freedom too much. I value my freedom more than anything. That's why _________ is the way it is."
My coaches response: "Oh yes Arica you're right about the freedom part, but you want freedom from feeling pain, so you're avoiding _____________"
WHAT THE HELL?
Like a deer caught in the headlights, I sat there with my eyes almost bulging from my face.
He was right. From there he began to walk me down the path of reality and how I could really get the result, the "xyz" that I wanted.
I see it all too often and I don't want that to happen to you. Don't try to date alone. And don't rely on your friends to give you the gut punching answers. They're there to love and support you, not tell you you're a jackass.
That's my job as a coach ;)