If you pay attention to the self help or self improvement circuits, one thing that you’ll often hear is talk about Self Love. Loving yourself, appreciating yourself, valuing yourself. When entering a relationship, it’s incredibly important to be aware of your own self love, or the lack thereof.
Though this seems to be a common thread shared in those sort of circles, I’m not really sure we’ve clearly defined what that is, or what it really looks like to love oneself.
For those hopefuls out there who are ready to embrace a loving a relationship, when I say a statement such as ”..its incredibly important to be aware of your own self love”, I’m sure your ears are perked and eyes wide open. If you don’t have a clue as to what I’m talking about, or are in the category of hearing this, but like me, feeling like it’s still not clearly defined, I’m sure your emotional antenna’s are flying high!
I find, that with me personally, that I go through season’s or times, where the self love tank needs to be poured into a bit more than normal. Yesterday especially was one of those days, where I really needed a top up.
Looking in the mirror throughout the day, (okay so this part happens frequently, don’t act like you don’t!), I found myself feeling a bit disappointed with myself. It had been going on for over a week. I thought getting a makeover at the MAC counter would help, but it didn’t.
“Hmm.. my eyes look tired.” ”My thighs still look bigger then what I’d like.” ”Uhhh what’s going on with my skin, why does it look so dehydrated?” ”Yuck I look and feel so bloated!” So what did I do? I went to my Facebook and looked through my pictures, hoping to prove my “not looking so hot” theory, wrong. With a recent trip to San Francisco, I had a pile of pics to skim through on the Book.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me? …I really do look…Blah!” So I go through older pictures and find pictures from years ago, where “Yes! I look much better!” It doesn’t stop there, I start evaluating my make up, to see what I can change, so that I can look how I did then.”
That’s when my inner voice from within spoke up on my behalf. ”Arica, quit it. Give yourself a break. You’re picking yourself apart. You’re still the same, gorgeous woman, so give yourself some grace.” That voice was right, but I was already feeling so crummy, I couldn’t really shake out of it.
That’s when the red flag waved before my face and I realized… “Oooo… the Self Love tank, really needs some refueling.” But what does that look like?
For me..its quality time with me. Sometimes that’s writing, which is what I’m doing now. Sometimes its taking the time to find and enjoy the music that really speaks to my heart. It may be taking the time to stroke my arms, or play with my air (I love touch!). And then, there’s that time where I look in the mirror and rather then rip myself apart, I go into the details, what I see and appreciate about myself.
As cheesy as this may sound, I’ve developed enough self love to know that when my tank is low, I’m worth taking the time to give back to myself in these areas. I’ll probably go for a stroll on the beach this evening, watch some Audrey Hepbrun YouTubes. Things that really speak to me, that I deeply value. Why, because I love them… and ultimately I love me, so doing what I love for myself, while reconnecting with who I am, is deeply valuable. It’s imperative.
So for those of you who have been wondering… “What are they talking about with this Loving Yourself Business?” What does it look like?” Well hopefully, this gives you an idea, but it’s even better when you apply it!
It’s okay if you find your Self Love tank getting low. But just remember that when that happens, pull over from life and fill up. Entering into a loving relationship is only part of your happiness..the other must come from you. Even on your spiritual journey, God, Your Higher Power, can pour out deep measures of love upon you, but in hopes, that you will also share that with yourself.
Cheers! and raise a glass to your Self Love!