He leaves toothpaste all over the sink and it drives you nuts. Despite how many times you’ve asked her to stop using your razors, she doesn’t seem to get the message and once again your face returns to a dull blade. She’s asked you repeatedly to quit burping so loudly after meals, he’s asked you a million times to quick clicking with your teeth. How often does this happen in relationships? We get annoyed over the pettiest of things, however those petty things really can drive us nuts in those moments of day to day relationship living.
I feel like I’m a pretty high maintenance girl, my guys are always sweet and assure me this isn’t the case, but my threshold of getting annoyed is a very fine line sometimes. I can’t think of one guy that I’ve been in relationship with whom I haven’t critiqued about his clothing. So what ends up happening? I find myself going through their closets, picking the shirt, picking out the pants, picking out the shoes and saying “Here, wear this.” Do I do a better job of picking their clothes out, yes of course, do they thank me, after I’ve coordinated a brilliant outfit, yes they do! Does it annoy the hell out of me and them in the process, pretty much every time. It’s cute at first, but when I find them falling dependent on me for every outfit for the evening I become annoyed. I take forever to get ready, so to add something to that process causes me to feel anxious. However it’s a platform I’ve created for myself and once I’ve created this and the men participate, I find I’m more annoyed with the process.
It’s the petty things like this that accumulate over time in relationships to where we find ourselves thinking “Why yes I love them, however liking them is another matter.” ”They annoy the hell out of me, why can’t they just be cute and adorable as when I first met them?” The truth of the matter is that they still are cute and adorable just as you remember them, but over time you’ve forgotten what it was about them that made you smile. You start focusing on the petty things, the annoyances and as you shift your focus to those, the important things get put off to the side.
What is it that you liked about them? Their smile? Their ability to make you laugh? The way they make breakfast? The fact that they know how to respond to chaos well and it helps put you at ease? Any time you put your focus on shit you can expect a massive pile of just that …lots of shit. What may start off in puppy poo will eventually turn in to massive cow doo. Do you like poop? I sure don’t. So if you don’t like poop and especially the poop with your partner, then why spend your energy focusing on it? I will gladly take a bouquet of flowers over a pile horse manure any day. So I can look at the bouquet of flowers in front of me on the table, or I can stand and stare out the window and scream “Look at the big pile of shit in the yard!!” Whatever makes me happy, that’s where I want to put my attention.
The things that you don’t like about your partner will eventually drive you apart if you keep dwelling on it. Shake out of it, realize it’s not worth it and while it may seem minor now, it can result to be the dividing wedge that ultimately causes the destruction of your relationship. So what is that you like about your partner?