In the world of love sometimes things can get very tricky. You’re in a relationship, but the arguing just won’t end. You’re married and after years of fulfillment, the sparks have disappeared. You’re single and despite that you’re out there constantly meeting people, the results are rather disappointing. You were happy in love and now you’re walking down the road of a break up.
Lots of transition takes place in love, but the beauty is that the transition tells us that it’s living. It has mobility. However, what we do with the mobility can be challenging.
Oh what to do? Well let’s say you’re the one in the relationship and the two of you consistently find yourself arguing. What do you do? Chances are two things are going on. You both have lost your connection and recovering it is vital. Whether it be spending the evening making a heart to heart connection, or going out and doing something that you both love, whatever it is, get the connection back. The other is poor communication. There’s a break down in your communication and so no matter what each of you are saying, the other person isn’t hearing you and vice versa.
Despite that we’ve all graduated to adulthood, effective communication is one of the things that many of us lack. But don’t let that stop you, get a book on communication and read it together. Talk out the points that stand out to you and validate each other with a “I see and understand”, “I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you in that”, “I will make it my priority that you are heard.” Bringing validation to the equation reminds you both that you are humans with hearts and emotions. Emotions that need to be valued.
My married folks who have lost the spark. It’s called Astroglide and lingerie. Get on it. Create a romantic evening, go on an adventure together and while doing either/or both, communicate what it is that you love about them. I don’t care if you think you think they should already know it, they still need to hear it. Remind them of why you choose to be with them and what they do for that heart of yours. Did I mention Astroglide and lingerie??
All the singles out there!! Yes you’re doing your part, you’re getting out there and meeting people. I commend you for that! At least you’re out there for starters. I want to bitch slap people who moan about dating, but do nothing but talk about it. For those of you who are doing your part, but the results are lame, trust me I get it. One, whatever you do don’t become cynical. It’s bad energy and will attract losers, so just don’t go there. Change where you’re going to meet people, get centered and remind yourself of what you’re looking for.
Don’t waste time dating people that you’re not interested in out of boredom. Value yourself while you’re out there. Confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear and boy does it have a fragrance to it! Look in your mirror and remind yourself of who you are, why you’re awesome and that the person who does get to date you, is in for a treat.
Last, but definitely not the least, those of you going through a break up. Uggggghhh it’s the worst, it’s like dying a death, but having to live it out. Not fun, hurtful and ever so draining on the heart. This is going to sound like a pep talk, but there’s so much truth in it, so pay attention. If you chose wisely to have lived in the moment in your relationship, then every good moment, every ounce of love that was poured into you, was a deposit. Remind yourself of that. Being loved has got to be one of the most beautiful things on this planet!!
The fact that someone chose to pour their heart into you is an incredible gift. Treasure it, despite the hard times, you were given the gift of love and that’s not to be taken lightly. Surround yourself with good, encouraging friends. This is not the time to do it alone, so allow the people in your life to love on you. When it hurts, cry it out, don’t hide from the pain, but let it be. Trust me this will save you so much time to just face it now, rather than allowing it to drag out.
Remind yourself that you love you. Love is not hiding from you, it’s right inside of you, even though that other person is no longer there, you still have the gift of love within. Don’t get into full time dating while you’re love tank is sitting on empty. Fill yourself up and when the time is right, dating will still be there, its not going anywhere. Whatever you do, don’t settle, remain true to you, remain true to your desires and hang on to love for dear life.
Love is a beautiful gift, but it’s road comes with many loops, turns and bumps. It’s okay because the journey of love is really the only way to go. Unless you want a lonely, boring, fearful life, then there is a path for that. So wherever you are and you find yourself asking, “Oh What to Do?”, stay plugged into love, don’t give up and don’t give in. Love, it is available no matter what.
If you need more answers, go to my Coaching Options page http://www.aricaangelo.com/category/coaching-options/ and choose the right session for you. It’s never fun staying in stuck mode, so if you find yourself there and you need more help, sign up and together, you and I will find you your answers.