The expression “We all have a story” is altogether true. If you ever wondered about anyone and I do mean anyone, have a cup of coffee with them and just listen to their story. Often times you’ll be shocked and amazed the journey many people have walked out. Some are embarrassed by their stories, so to get them to share could be like pulling teeth and when that’s the case, I’d rather not put them through the discomfort.
Well I had this particular friend who indeed had a story. I won’t go into it as I would never jeopardize their privacy nor safety. But I had involved myself in their life and so their story was shared with me. At the time I was a bit younger, so what wisdom I have now, I did not posses it then. The unfortunate thing about their story was it affected those that were in relationship with this person.
I particularly did not know how to handle the blows that would come from the offset of the triggers that occurred as a result of it all. I did my best to seek counsel as to what I should do to help, talk to friends, talked to family, all doing their best to give me their opinions and their fair share of wisdom they could offer.
The problem was they didn’t know this persons story. It wasn’t their responsibility nor obligation to know this persons story, however there were some that gave such “strong” advice and opinions, that you would’ve assumed they knew this individual like the back of their hand. Looking back, I would’ve handled things much differently had I known the things I now know.
The point is, no one can really tell you anything about someone else, or you personally unless they really know your story. They can give you overall advice, general wisdom or just their simple opinion on the situation, but to give you real clarity and wisdom would be out of their reach. That’s why people seek counselors, therapists, those who are available to give the individual the proper time they need to really get to share their story and for the listener to gain understanding as to where they’ve come from.
In the Bible, Paul the Apostle refers to himself as the “chief of sinners” in a particular area. Well I’d like to call myself the “chief sinner” in this department. For example, there’s a particular guy who has done quite a bit of damage to a dear friend of mine. I have ripped this guy apart up and down and sideways. Every time I see him I’d like to give him an upper cut to his jaw, along with a kick after he hit the ground. That’s how angry I have been with him.
Here’s the problem. I don’t know his story, so therefore how he has responded to my friend and how he has hurt her, while it makes me livid, I cannot judge why he chooses the way he has handled things. I have try to find every wise word in the book to justify my anger, but underneath it all, he is a hurting soul who really needs help. Despite that I know that, I have wanted to have him bull-whipped. I am wrong.
When we want advice and or opinions about what to do with our significant others, people we’re dating, or our spouse, make sure that we’re going to people who truly know their story and have a heart for them. Otherwise we can get really bad advice and then go about mishandling the other persons heart in a major way. Yes I’ve screwed up in this department as well.
I gave this quote on my Facebook/Twitter today https://www.facebook.com/pages/Arica-Angelo/109319522422164 / https://twitter.com/#!/AricaAngelo ”People process situations differently, so unless you know their story, you’re opinion as to what they should and should not do is irrelevant. Either invest in knowing their story or quietly wish them the best.” I’d like to leave that with you today. And as for my friend, thankfully they’re doing okay and their story is being heard by those who love them very well.