You know I don’t believe I’ve met one person in my life who has always been very clear about love. No, not one! At some point in all of our lives, oh yes baby I’m putting us all in one big box, all of us at one point in our lives have indeed been confused by love. Just think of when you were a child, the little boy pull the girls hair to assure her that he has the deepest affections for her. Really pull my hair? I always thought the direct approach with a kiss on my cheek would give me the clue that yes boy, you dig me!
No instead as a girl we have our hair pulled, although we don’t mind it when we get older . We then progress to a more direct form of communication with little love notes passed in class with the “check yes or no”, but then that’s it, no communication after that. ”Heck if you’re into me then why not call, why not carry my books, hold my hand on our way to class?” No, we have to the next level of complication for all of that to begin.
We then find ourselves in high school and complication doesn’t even cover it. (Facebook was genius to cover “It’s Complicated” in relationship statuses!!) In high school we then have to go through a process of “we’re just talking” and then with the hopes of “yah, we’re going together”. I personally never seemed to graduate out of the “we’re just talking” stage. While some of my other more accomplished friends managed to find their ways into relationships in high school, I somehow remained the girl that guys just wanted to talk to. What??
For defending my own ego here, naturally I’m not that girl anymore . Puke if you must, but this chica realized she was due an upgrade and an upgrade is what I’ve given myself! But becoming an adult doesn’t guarantee smooth sailing in love, oh hell no. Throw marriage in the mix and matters really get intense as we find ourselves asking “Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person?”
Of course thanks to bad advice, bad behaviors and music that encourages us to constantly get rid of people, yet somehow forgetting to tell us how to keep them around, we take complication to a record high by creating friends with benefits, tight dresses to cause that ex to cry out and resent the first day they met you and the rotation system that allows us to date 7 people at a time! (whew, that was a mouthful!) We lure in the next love with cute petty games, while ending it with mean, cruel and vicious games.
The truth of the matter is, love in its purest form isn’t confusing at all. We’re typically taught systems that are to encourage us to receive love, get love and grow love with very frail techniques that have everything to do with everything else but love. While love may seem very confusing, the best thing we can do is to remind ourselves that first and foremost, we are to love on ourselves and very well at that. Once we find that person we choose to invest our love in, we must always ask “Is the way I choose to express this person my love, the same love I want to apply myself?” That in itself will bring you lots of clarity!