Well, well, who would’ve thought that we ladies, would be introduced to the world of dating like a man? If our great grandmothers knew of this concept being presented to their precious granddaughters, they’d probably roll over in their graves! Just the idea of calling a boy on the phone, was horrendous to their clear imaginations, so to actually fathom pursuing a man or pretending to be like a man in dating, would nonetheless not be seen as becoming from their perspective.
You know, I must admit, I completely agree with their old way of thinking. Boring? Well not really if you gather where I’m coming from. Now if you’ve read any of my work, then you know that there are standards I have set in place and when those standards aren’t met, I walk. There’s no sense of desperation, men haven’t dropped off the face of the earth, there’s an abundance, which leads me to believe that I can continue on with keeping my standards intact. Don’t hand me your business card to see me again, I’ll throw it in the trash, don’t give me your phone number because I’ll laugh in your face and don’t read me your resume, because I can guarantee you that I’ll vomit right on the spot.
With that said, I too have entertained the whole idea of dating Like a Boy. Surprising, but yes, I’ve found myself wrapped in the same trap, toying with the concept to see if I could come up with the same results as men. Dating 7 men at a time, with different dates piling in, in what I called the “rotator”. (Rotator basically means keeping a handful of guys rotating or circling through one’s dating life.) Of course living in a big city like LA, this was pretty easy to manage and at the time seemed like a blast. However, moving to a smaller area, can’t always guarantee the same results.
As much as I’d love to tell you that this was a one time experiment, I’d be lying, the truth is, I felt quite a rush absorbing all the attention I received and enjoyed the next thrill of another surprising date. That is until, I lived in area smaller area than LA and the circle squeezed in on me. Not good.
Apparently, as much as most men may enjoy their own game, when the tables are turned, they’re not too particularly thrilled. (I later found out that the expression to explain this is called being “butt hurt”.) The guys found out, not because I got caught, but because I ratted myself out. I started going through counseling for my own personal needs and found that this sort of dating wasn’t representing me and frankly, it was making my heart sick.
Despite the fact that I was very direct with these guys from the get go, stating very clearly that “I was a single girl and wanted nothing exclusive”, that disclaimer didn’t disclaim the feelings festering on the inside of me. I gracefully bowed out and realized that dating “Like a Boy” wasn’t my style. Getting healthy on the inside, will often change your dating world on the outside. The truth is, my dating like a man habit, actually was out of deeper issues which I’ll go into at a later time. At the end of the day, the fun wasn’t worth what it was doing to me on the inside. Not only that, after my moment of honesty, seeing the expression on the guys face broke my heart when he realized what was going on.
Teaching a bad dog new tricks, isn’t something I’ll shy away from… however, being with a good guy and breaking hearts is not what I’m about. Being responsible and realizing my dating habits were actually hurting others, though entertaining for me, was not okay. Does that mean going on a couple of dates with a guy means I’m locked in, absolutely not, however, seeing them for months at a time while doing the same with another, just doesn’t suit me.
Ciara sings, “If I played you like a toy, sometimes I wish I could act like a boy”, well sister, I’ve done it and let me just set the record straight, I’m quite content being a lady!