We all have buttons right? Well needless to say that with progressing with age I have become far more aware of what my buttons really are. Yes I have pet peeves that send shrieks down my spine, but buttons, well now thats an entirely different matter. You hit my buttons and thats when you see steam coming from my head, my eyes glaring with a piercing stare and my shoulders hovering next to my ears.
My button you may be asking, what is it? Being misunderstood. Drives me crazy, insane and my temper, well if only I knew how to turn it down when I am misunderstood. One of my favorite quotes is “ A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood. The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved. And that perhaps, is what makes him different from others. by Leo Rosten.
I personally believe that being understood and known is a desire that all us humans posses, for some though the need runs a bit deeper. I am one of those. When someone really gets me its as if fireworks have gone off and I’ve made a new bff. Yet when I’m misunderstood the person then becomes that foe that should be removed from my presence immediately! Okay well maybe it’s not that aggressive, but it’s pretty high up there.
So when it comes to relationships, guess what? You have two people with the same need to be understood and known, when that need is not met it can be very frustrating. What does one do? Well this is where patient communication comes into play. Hence the word “patient”. Being misunderstood can makes us feel completely unvalidated, however validation in a relationship can really create smooth sailing.
Patience becomes that vital tool that reminds us to take a deep breath, realize the other persons best intention is to be heard and known and do our best to provide that. Great in theory, application however is another matter. A beautiful gift to give, a horrible adversary to be on the other side of if not handled properly.
Buttons can always be diffused with love, but we have to remember that a part of love is patience. I can guarantee you it will be required when those buttons are pushed. So now you know mine. Did I mention I struggle with patience? Lord help me!