Do you ever go to a favorite restaurant of yours and think “Oh I’ve just got to have….” whatever particular dish you love eating? Or perhaps shopping at your favorite designers boutique, there are those pieces you’d die for! You know, there are just some things in life you’ve gotta have. Particularly when it comes to relationships and finding that meaningful love in your life, there are those things that each of us innately must have in order for us to fully thrive!
Recently I gave one of my clients a homework assignment at the end of their coaching session, that required them to write out their “Absolute’s” in a Relationship. The things they just had to have in their relationship that would help them feel connected and alive in the relationship. Naturally, I’ve thought the same in my own life and with a current conversation with a friend of mine, this subject really started twirling in my mind.
Now I’ve always been a big advocate of encouraging others to list off what it is that they want in their relationship, giving themselves a blueprint to maneuver through the dating world. While our lists can often list out many particulars, I’m convinced that there are those ABSOLUTES, that we all must have.
For me, some must have’s on my own list have been things like, great personality, fun, ambitious, light hearted, just to through out some of my generalities. But when it comes down to the ABSOLUTES in my own life, one thing that I must absolutely have, is a man who is connected with his heart.
I’ve seen men who can be so driven, oozing sexiness through their ambition, yet so disengaged from their heart, that to be with them is like a long journey through a desert. Lifeless, leaving one thirsty and eventually hopeless. Because they’re so disconnected from their own heart, the idea of them having anything to offer my heart, was like squeezing blood from a turnip. You end up with nothing.
Yet, to have a man who is connected with his heart, he lives out of passion, there’s joy to his days, he’s thirsty for more, he loves pursuing life adventurously, well for me, it’s a must! He’s able to enjoy the simple to the extreme’s, because to him life is a gift, waiting to be lived! It’s how I live my life, it’s how I choose to live my life. I’ve done it through the conventional mundane way and found myself restless and bored.
To have someone pursue their journey in the same fashion, is ABSOLUTELY what I want. What about you? What are your ABSOLUTES? Have you thought about it? Forget about the color of eyes, the profession, what kind of car you’d like them to drive, just for a moment and really think about your ABSOLUTES. This can be such an exciting exercise, as you give yourself the permission to voice and put on paper your heart desires.
When you write it out, you’ll feel something inside of you come alive, you’ll find yourself saying aloud, “Oh YES, Gotta Have it!!”