One beautiful thing that I heard from two of my precious friends, whom I might add have a gorgeous relationship, was that there marriage was a daily choice. The gist of the conversation went something like this: “Arica, daily I choose to be married to ________. Just because we’re married, it doesn’t mean we’re locked into this. At any point, her and I are free to leave. The thing is, we daily choose each other.”
When I heard this statement, it shocked the daylights out of me. I had always believed in the umbrella of thinking that marriage was a done deal. Thus why some women push so hard for quick marriages. But the thing is, to have a marriage where two hearts are truly invested, it will involve a huge element and that element is Freedom!
While this may sound incredibly scary to those of us who have been hurt deeply, the truth of the matter is, Freedom is the only way for a relationship to truly thrive. Trying to control and keep our relationships in a box, will never serve us. With freedom, it means that both partners are able to have a voice in the relationship, they create an atmosphere of safety between the two of them and as a result, the relationship grows and prospers!
I’ve been in relationships where I haven’t felt safe to voice what I truly felt, or thought about the way the relationship was going. Either my partners would ignore, get annoyed, or throw a fit over what I wanted to share. Well, being that I’m part Latina, that only flies with me for so long, before this Latina’s voice gets raised above the “room voice” level. Ultimately, I’d shut down, resort to control and find myself miserable in the relationship. Thus leaving freedom as no longer an option for either of us.
With Freedom, comes patience, long suffering and loads of kindness! (I could go on and on as to what Freedom looks like in relationships, as this is a pretty wide topic, open for plenty of discussion.) To say to your partner, ”I give you the freedom to be vulnerable, to have a voice in our relationship, to place your heart in a safe place within me”, can get very messy. The outcome may not always be that pretty, but when you go through the journey of your relationship with truth, you’ve created a platform for your relationship to thrive. Something that is rarely seen unfortunately, most couples are surviving, thus why we run to movies for our own thirst for love.
Relationships are meant to be alive, full of passion, with two people who have an unquenchable love that is a continuous growth of the opportunity to love and love more! But in order to do that, there must be Freedom. I refuse to have my relationships to be mundane and in the survival zone. I highly encourage you to do the same. Give Me My Freedom, because I can only do life through a heart that’s alive!