Last night I was with some friends and we had one of those evenings where the conversation “went deep”. Being a “Quality Time” (read Gary Smalley’s “Love Languages http://smalley.cc/whats-your-love-language) kind of person, any time I can have those in depth conversations with friends or loved ones, well lets just say they’re those precious highlights in my life. A friend of mine said something that was so simple, yet so profound, that it left me silenced. In the best way one can be silenced.
He said “You know once we understand that we’re “Delighted In”, our response out of that is Joy and it free’s us from the pressure to perform”. To be Delighted In? Hmmm… now that’s an interesting topic that you don’t hear too often.
Delight: A high degree of gratification
Sometimes we’re able to witness this with good parenting and their children. In a healthy family, you’ll see the parents commending their children often, praising them for their deeds and who they are. However as we get older, those words of affirmation can seem far too scarce.
Though Words of Affirmation may not be high on my list, when it comes to my “Love Languages”, it is a gift that I find very easy to give. I love encouraging people, reminding them of who they are and loving on them for the simplest things. In fact, I encourage you as an adult, to really put it out there and point out the qualities that you see in other people, frequently for that matter!
When we remind or recognize the greatness in others, we’re letting that person know “I Delight in You!” Now when it comes to relationships, this is highly essential. You’re boyfriend, husband, the guy you’re seeing, whatever the case may be, lives in a world that constantly questions his strength and if he has what it takes to be a man. For men, the lady in your life is continuously having her beauty challenged. Just take a stroll through your local grocery store and you’ll find magazines everywhere, reminding her another “to do” to get skinny, or have those flat abs!
We’re all being pulled from, so as you can probably see, we’re in dire need of being reminded that we are “Delighted In”. There’s nothing like someone celebrating you. One of my fondest memories from a former relationship, was a guy who made it very clear, that he Delighted In Me!
After a hard day of work for the two of us, I’d meet him at his place where we’d have a glass of wine, relax in his outdoor jacuzzi and gaze at the stars in the sky. Knowing that I’m a singer, he always made it a point to break the silence or conversation and say “Sing to Me!” It always embarrassed me initially, but I’d venture out and rise to the occasion.
While I love the spotlight and rarely will shy away from it, a one on one audience with myself and the love in my life, was something that I found rather unnerving. Being the persistent man he was, he managed to always talk me into it and so, I would sing. Every time after I’d finish singing, he’d make a huge deal and either clap, praise my singing or go on and on, as to what a fabulous woman I was. Needless to say, I felt incredibly “Delighted In.”
To have someone champion me was such a fantastic feeling, it made feel alive, seen and enjoyed! What a precious and significant gift to be able to share with another human being.
Let me encourage you to do the same in you’re very own relationship. Go out on a limb and let the person you’re with know how much you Delight In Them. If you’re in need of affirmation in your relationship, rather than waiting for the other person to pour into you, make the first step and share the Delight! It’s a beautiful seed to sow and reaping the rewards of it can be exhilarating. In case you haven’t been told… You’re Delighted In!