Recently I was asked what to do when you’re trying to move on out of a relationship that isn’t working. This person has been through many ups and downs with the person they were with and knew that it was just best to end things and move on. Of course after you’ve invested so much time into a person, its hard to just say “Oh I’m done with that” and go on with life.
My answer to their dilemma was “Have a refined focus”. You see most of the time if we would give our heart space to speak, it’s pretty good at conveying what it wants. The problems start to arise and the whirlwinds of fruitless dating begin to evolve once we start negotiating ourselves out of what we want. Whether its to suffice a current need, pain or conditional want, the minute we start negotiating our hearts cross its arms and says “Here we go again, heartache I foresee you already!”
When your focus is clear and you really give yourself the permission to want your truest desires, it sets a platform that can not be easily swayed. Those “almosts” and “not really’s” can then be pushed aside as you make room for what you truly want. Impostors no longer can easily creep in as you have a focus that remains before you that will not let you detour from your course.
So while settling for what will do may suffice you in your current situation, if you have a strong heart it by no means will let you hear the end of it. Think about it, how many times will you settle? How much more can your heart really go through? Do you find yourself wondering “What is it that I really want?” Or “If I do know what I want why am I not there?”
These are all very valid questions that deserve answers.