The other night I was chatting with my girlfriend about relationships at a friends birthday party. She said something to me that I thought was really brilliant and something I had never heard before. She said "It was a cruel joke for God to put man and woman together!"
To which I almost spit out my Sauvignon Blanc over. I laughed out loud as I knew there was a sense of truth that resonated with this statement.
It's true, men and women can be so different and with that comes lots of frustration over our differences.
While I was out hiking with a dear friend of mine, we also were discussing relationships. This particular friend of mine is one of my favorites to talk relationships with. He said "You know Arica I'm convinced everyone gets into relationships for the wrong reasons. Whether it's the feelings of being loved, or we feel like it's the right time or the right thing to do, people get into relationships for everything but that which they're made for. If we do go at it for those reasons, we'll end up disappointed. In reality, relationships are all about us becoming the best version of ourselves."
I couldn't agree more. Painfully I agree. To which my girlfriend concluded our conversation with. She said "Well I guess with our differences and the challenges that come with it, I guess it really does force us to become the best version of ourselves."
There's so much truth to that. In hindsight it sounds brilliant, in practice it can be a nightmare.
Here's a funny pic I posted on Instagram.
The caption reads "I'm always a great lover until another human being enters the picture!"
It's true! How many of us romanticize about what great lovers we are, until we're actually in a relationship and the person royally pisses us off?
Love flies out the window and you think, "Damn I was so much better off when I was single!"
That's the cruel joke. In relationships our love WILL get challenged. Our differences will spark heated arguments and disagreements. It's only a matter of time that that beautiful lover all of the sudden turns into an idiot.
The truth is it's an opportunity for you to grow and grow into the best version of yourself. Nothing for pansies by any means.
What does that mean for you as a single? It means you better get really good at love right now in your singleness. It means that when people in your life piss you off, how you love them in return now will develop those love muscles that will make you a great lover in the future relationship you will have.
Suit up and practice because love will not just magically appear and work itself out when you find that special one. No, it'll come from your years of practice and allowing your love to grow strong and develop you into the best version of yourself.
Cruel joke? Only if you're determined to stay the same and not allow love to bend you and mold you. Because trust me, it will.
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