I have a dear friend who I will not mention his name, only his initials J.S who always uses the same threat each and every single time.
A ninja kick to some valuable part of my body.
However talking about break ups this week, it reminded me how a break can feel just like a ninja kick to your heart.
Your heart, lungs, stomach, tear ducks... shall I continue?
Point is it knocks the air and life right out of you.
While the break up itself is difficult enough to deal with, sometimes unbeknown to us we can make it all far more difficult. Here is a list of practical things you can avoid at all cost so that you do not add MORE pain to your broken heart.
#1 Do not go to your friends girlfriends/guyfriends who have had bad experiences with relationships!!!
Seriously do you want a case of the unnecessary "Stupids" on your hands? No. Stay away from these people. For one they are toxic and two your heart is incredibly vulnerable, meaning you are far more likely to absorb information that is flat out wrong, Just don't do it.
#2 Don't prove anything to your ex.
When we go through break ups we think it's a time to prove ourselves especially to our exes. i.e "Look at how much fun I'm having.. please see my Facebook. Look at how skinny I'm getting. Look at how much the opposite sex desires me. Look at how many shots I can take and how crazy I really can get." All stupid, dumb ideas. (Yes I've done them all.) Instead prove to your heart that your the best caretaker ever and that you are fully committed to loving it and restoring it back to wholeness.
#3 Take care of your body.
We sometimes think that while our heart is the only thing hurting, everything else can go to hell in a handbasket, like our health. This is not the time to consume large amounts of alcohol, eat yourself into a frenzy and lay on a couch all day. No way. Your heart is desperately hurting, so guess what that means? It will need the rest of you to keep it together. I've watched girlfriends do stupid things like drink way too much and load up on adderall all for the sake of getting skinny. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Your heart feels destroyed, don't do yourself the injustice of destroying the rest of you.
#4 Spirituality goes a long way.
While you may think isolation and partying may be your meal ticket, your head is in your backside. These two are the worst things. (Yes I've done both of these as well, yes I'm a rockstar and want to to do every wrong thing out there to help you avoid stupidity at it's finest.)
The last thing you need is to be alone. Find community in your place of feeding yourself spiritually. Allow safe people in your life to comfort you, advise you and spend time with you. Spend time feeding your soul and spirit. Listening to harsh music about why you love "bad B*tches and that's your problem" isn't the best thing to do as it only hardens your heart and makes your more cynical. Spend time feeding your spirit and soul nurturing things like positive music that makes you feel good, speakers who are encouraging and friendships that leave you with a smile on your face.
For more practical advice get my book "Struttin Your Way Through a Broken Heart"
Did you get my weeks worth of emails about "Break Ups?" Why not? Get them here at AricaAngelo.com (Really all you do is