Ahh Chemistry! Now there’s an interesting topic. To be honest, I think this particular topic is one that can get the most tricky and confusing for most Dater’s. It’s that one thing that can turn on you and make things completely complicated, or interesting for that matter.
Say you have Guy #1. He’s gorgeous, you find him completely attractive and you have so many things in common. But there’s a problem. There’s no Chemistry whatsoever. You’re not excited and anxious when you see him. Where once you used to feel butterflies when you’d see that special someone, the only thing you feel for this guy, is the gurgling going on in your belly from the pizza the night before. How does that happen? On paper, this should be working. He meets all of your qualifications, but you feel nothing!
Then, say you have Guy #2. It’s a random date you decided to take at the last moment. You show up to find, well he’s not really the guy you would’ve described as the “Perfect Dream Date” to your girlfriends, but he’ll do. As you guys begin to chat, you find that there are common interests, but apart from all of that, something is really ticking on the inside of you. You find yourself becoming a bit fidgety and when the waiter comes to offer you that next glass of wine, you ask “Is it a bit hot in here to you?” In the back of your mind, you’re watching the guy move his mouth as he’s speaking to you, but all along you’re thinking… “Will YOU JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME!!!”
Oh yes, Chemistry, he’s a tricky fellow. You see, when pursuing dating, he’s that friend you’ll want to pay attention to, whether he’s there, or out in Fiji, no where to be found. Yes, I too have found myself in this bizarre paradox, where I’m later trying to explain to my friends why I’m so crazy about Guy #2, while they’re all scratching their heads!
Sometimes, we’d like to dismiss Mr. Chemistry when we’ve found someone that we “SHOULD” be interested in, but are not. We can often try to negotiate with ourselves by saying that if we’ll just give it more time, at some point, we’ll feel something. However when negotiating turns to lying, you have to come clean with yourself and admit that it’s just not working out.
Now at a later time, I’ll discuss how when Chemistry is NOT the only thing that matters, nor is it the only thing to look for when trying to spot Mr. or Mrs. Wonderful.
However, for now, we’ll give that ole Mr. Chemistry some attention and say, “Hey sometimes you’re exactly right! And yes, I’ll definitely pay attention to you in the future!